Desert Poem

The sun scorches the desert sand,

Yet plants still grow regardless to the lack of water.

Feeble animals live in the few sheltered areas across the land,

comparable to snakes laying in their caves, as arrows in a mighty quiver.


Dunes arise from the smooth surface,

With wrinkles lain across it, like ripples in calm seas.

This all changes with barely any notice,

And the sand is gone with the slight desert breeze.





I hope you can picture this in your mind O.o


CC please

I suppose it wouldn't be impossible for me to create an acconunt and give you some cc ;)

I can picture it. You have some nice imagery in there. I dislike the word "regardless" in the second line, though. I think "ignoring" may have been better, or maybe "despite".

Edit: Woah! What happened to my little semicolon-bracket?

Zed wrote:

I suppose it wouldn't be impossible for me to create an acconunt and give you some cc ;)

I can picture it. You have some nice imagery in there. I dislike the word "regardless" in the second line, though. I think "ignoring" may have been better, or maybe "despite".

Edit: Woah! What happened to my little semicolon-bracket?

A coconut?

Yeah, ignoring does sound good. Thanks

What semicolon bracket?

*account

And a semicolon bracket is this: ;) but for some reason it's coming out as a smiley face with a twitchy eye.

Hahahahaha. I'll fix that : P

The mental image that was placed into my mind was very clear. A few vocabulary suggestions:

-In the third line, instead of "live in" it should be "inhabit".
-In the fourth line, instead of "laying" it should be "dwelling".
-In the very last line, you could replace "is gone" with "disappears", but that one still looks alright how it is.

This poem is excellent because it starts off with a description of what is happening and it uses some really great adjectives to describe what the desert looks like. At the end, it finishes off with a rhyme. I love it. You write some very interesting poems, NT.